4 Ways I Know I’m Not a Cow or a Calf

Drinking Milk is “Normal”, Right?

As a child, drinking cows’ milk seemed strange to me. People would tell me: “It builds strong bones. You need to drink milk to be strong and healthy.”. I didn’t want to and I remember forcing myself to drink it while thinking, “It’s good for you, keep drinking”, even though I felt disgusted and did not like the taste. I can remember consciously that my mental process shifted to accept what I didn’t feel intuitively was true: that milk is “necessary for us to be healthy”.

Imagine my horror when, as an adult, I learned that cows’ milk is not necessary for health and actually causes more harm than good!

It has been shown to leach calcium from bones because of it’s acidic nature.
“Casein, which makes up 87% of cow’s milk protein, promoted all stages of the cancer process,” Dr. T. Colin Campbell found and reported on in this book, The China Study.

I WAS PISSED! Why the hell was I chugging this nastiness against my better judgement when humans aren’t actually supposed to consume it? And why do people still drink it?

Is drinking human breastmilk after infancy strange to you? Why is consuming products with cow's milk not? Photo from article.wn.com. — Is drinking human breastmilk after infancy strange to you? Why is consuming products with cow’s milk not? Photo from article.wn.com.

The dairy industry is a multibillion dollar industry, so they have a vested interest in making sure we keep drinking milk that is intended for calves (baby cows). To do this, they spread false messages and use marketing tactics that prey on us and our children. We only drink mom’s milk as babies; people understand that it’s ridiculous to continue drinking from their mother’s breasts as adults. So why would we drink the milk of another species? And why cows?

The answer is simple – because it’s cheaper and easier to produce than the milk of any other species so it’s marketed to us as “essential” and people are making billions of dollars annually from our belief in this!

“We are the only species on the planet that drinks milk as adults. We are also the only species on the planet that drinks the milk of another species.

— Rory Freedman & Kim Barnouin from “Skinny Bitch”

We have come to accept as a society what we are told about milk and we have been brainwashed to believe that it’s normal to consume dairy. Most seem to enjoy it, especially cheese and ice cream. A common reason why vegetarians don’t make the switch to veganism, or why most won’t consider veganism, is: “I love cheese way too much. There’s no way I could give it up.”.

Maybe people think they're calves and that's why they're so addicted to dairy? Let's find out more. — Maybe people think they’re calves and that’s why they’re so addicted to dairy? Let’s find out more.

A Heroine-esque Addiction

I never liked cheese, so I couldn’t understand why cheese would be a reason not to be vegan. To me, it always smelled gross and rotten, so I avoided anything except cheese pizza on occasion. Ice cream – I was a fan of – but it gave me the most disgusting bloating and stomach issues (I won’t elaborate). Yet still, knowing it’s effects on my body, I would still eat it (if only I’d found delicious non-dairy ice creams sooner!). So why are we so attached to dairy products, even when it makes many of us ill?

Casemorphins found in dairy products create a heroine-like response in the brain, causing us to feel euphoria upon ingestion and craving from withdrawals.

Dr. T. Colin Campbell, author of The China Study, found that milk and other dairy products contain morphine-like substances (known as casemorphins) in casein (the protein found in milk that has been linked to the growth of cancer cells). These casemorphins mimic opiates in the bloodstream and the body (think of the effects heroine has!). As the casein protein begins to break down after ingestion, drug-like casemorphins are released, attaching themselves to opiate receptors in the brain. For calves, this response ensures they will continue to drink mom’s milk until no longer necessary.

For humans, this process is magnified due to weight differences of calves and human adults and causes strong and severe addictions to dairy products, which is why many people get anxious at the thought of ditching them (much like a junkie fears changing their ways). The addictive response to dairy is so powerful that it’s compared to the addictive-effects of heroine, one of the most addictive substances known to humans. Maybe this is why you can’t imagine kicking the cheese-habit?

Identity Confusion

If the addictive-properties of dairy don’t explain why we are guzzling down milk, cheese, ice cream, yogurt, butter, creamers and other dairy products by the gallons, then perhaps we are facing a confusion of identity. It seems logical to me that many humans mistakenly believe they are calves, needing and craving the milk of their mothers (cows) in order to lead some semblance of a normal life. Stuck in perpetual bovine adolescence, these humans mock the thought of drinking human breastmilk while reveling in any opportunity to consume all things dairy.

In order to make sure that I’m not the crazy one (I mean, there are literally billions of people that must think they’re calves so it’s a possibility that I’m off my rocker), I examined the differences between myself and cows to make sure I’m not losing my mind.

I don't think I'm a calf or a cow, based on certain factors. Let's delve deeper and find out, shall we? — I don’t think I’m a calf or a cow, based on certain factors. Let’s delve deeper and find out, shall we?

4 Ways I Know I’m Not a Cow or a Calf

1. Weight Difference

I googled “How much does a cow weigh” and then I weighed myself. A cow weighs anywhere from 1000 to 2400 pounds, and I weigh about 115 pounds. I don’t believe that’s a statistically significant similarity. I could be wrong, though. I’m not a “scientist” or a “doctor”, after all.

2. Number of Nipples

Last time I checked, I have two nipples (some people have one or three and that’s okay, too). Cows’ udders have four teats, each with one mammary gland in the udder. Often, they have extra, nonfunctional teats, known as supernumerary teats. This information is more confirmation that I’m not of bovine-descent.

4 Ways I Know I’m Not a Cow or Calf – Are you a #Cow? via @rima_danielle https://t.co/9KHfPBtxpD #vegan #satire #vegetarian #milk #health

— Rima Danielle Jomaa (@rima_danielle) October 25, 2015

3. Speaking English vs. Mooing

I’ve been around a fair number of cows and calves, but I’ve never heard them speak English or any other language (cows in Costa Rica don’t speak Spanish). Cows moo. We don’t. We can’t understand cows’ moos, or else we’d know how upset they areby having their secretions stolen. They love their babies, and don’t want to be separated from them, nor do they want to be forcibly impregnated (raped) so people can take their body parts.

4. Four Legs Vs. Two Legs

Cows and calves walk on 4 legs. I walk on 2 legs and use my arms and hands for many different functions, which cows cannot do. Therefore, I’m pretty sure I’m not a cow. Also, I have hands, feet, fingers and toes, whereas cows have hooves and claws.

Sometimes I walk on my hands, and most times I walk on my feet, but never both. In yoga, we do Cow Pose on all fours, but this is just a pose in yoga. Photo by Pete Genender in Santa Teresa, Costa Rica. — Sometimes I walk on my hands, and most times I walk on my feet, but never both. In yoga, we do Cow Pose on all fours, but this is just a pose in yoga. *Photo by Pete Genender in Santa Teresa, Costa Rica.*

The Verdict Is In

After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that I’m not a cow. Are you? Use these 4 comparison points to figure it out for yourself and your family. If you find that you are also not a calf, perhaps you should reconsider your dairy-addicted way.

What are some ways you know that you’re not a cow? Comment below.

Note: Dairy products include cheese, butter, ice cream, yogurt, most coffee creamers, and more (NOT JUST MILK!). All of these items have delicious and nutritious non-dairy alternatives in regular grocery stores around the world.

Are you an adult that can’t fathom suckling your mom’s bosom for sustenance? Are you an adult that thinks you need to suckle a cow’s bosom for sustenance? Can you imagine drinking straight from a cow’s teat? If not, why do you pay others to milk them and turn their pus & secretions into products for you to consume? If you think eating products from cows’ milk is normal, but consuming non-dairy alternatives (like almond milk or soy milk) is weird, why?